睡觉

两周前，和T开车把我的东西运了来LA。房子里家徒四壁。一切都需白手起家，床、窗帘、锅碗瓢盆... ... T在的那几天，两个人整天奔波，Ikea，Target，Home Depot... ...

从租了这个房子那天，麻烦就接连不断。先是发现了蟑螂！大学宿舍蟑螂猖狂的一幕幕立即呈现在我脑海，一窝窝斩不尽杀不绝的蟑螂让人作呕又无奈。曾经的一只还光荣地短路了我电脑的电源盒，给我造成经济损失。毕业时往家里运东西，我仔细地检查了每一个包裹，生怕把任何蟑螂，尤其是怀孕的蟑螂，运回家而殃及父母。出国后这六年我再也未见过它，以为从此与它永别。未想到在LA这座老公寓里又与它相遇。我把我的经历告诉T，他不以为然，说我大惊小怪。我让管理员给整个房间做了烟雾弹处理，好像也功效不大。我买了蟑螂诱饵，布置各房间角落，每天仍能见到几只，或大或小，或活或死，每次都心感不快。

和地毯问题比起来，蟑螂问题还算小巫见大巫。看房时，我闻到异味。管理员说，没关系，在你们入住之前我找人帮你们洗地毯。我和T非常喜欢这房子的采光，又在高楼层，窗外可望见Hollywood大字，所以就答应了。入住后，我还是觉得味道很浓，象是陈年烟味。睡了两个晚上，我的鼻子、嗓子、肺部感觉不适。我去找管理员，他说之前确实住过两个烟民。我说无法忍受，他说，那我给你换地毯。我甚是满意。当天就有人来给我铺上了新的地毯。铺后，我就觉得它散发出刺激人的化学味道。我问地毯工，这气味是否对人有害。他说，这是新地毯，没问题的，不用担心。我想专业人员说没事应该就没事，哪知睡了两晚，渐觉鼻子失去嗅觉、头脑发涨、浑身无力、不时想呕吐。我才意识到，中毒了！于是马上搬出，在朋友那里借宿，不敢再住。

T把我送来后返回了旧金山，去辞职、收拾东西、准备搬过来，所幸逃过中毒一劫。我今天飞回旧金山，周一帮他搬过来。对我的中毒描述他将信将疑，非要自己过来一嗅清楚，然后再做是否解除住房合约的决定。我和他说，健康大事，不可马虎，他却担心被扣违约金。所以这个故事现在还未有结论。

你瞧，找个睡觉的地方还真不容易。

Free Time

It has been two weeks since my resignation. I am quite enjoying my not-working time.

I can have a good breakfast. Not microwaved cereal plus milk anymore. I can make a cup of green tea, boil some plain porridge, and steam some red-bean buns. In the day, I would pack a little, read a bit, check out the library, or cook. If T doesn't work, we would go for a walk on the beach, go to see a movie, try some new restaurants, or work out in the gym. Like yesterday, we found this beach corner I had never been to. We said hi to some sluggish star fish lying on some rocks not distant from us. We lined up some stone pins and picked a few semi-round rocks to play bowling. I really enjoy these little fun moments. When I had a vacation before, I usually traveled somewhere. The sudden environmental change offered a sharp refreshment, like drinking an iced Coke after a three-hour jogging. But often as a result, I felt very exhausted after the trip. Whereas now, I have equally the same relaxation but definitely less weariness.

When I started packing, I was surprised to find that I have about twenty white gym T-shirts and another twenty colored ones! I got some of them for free, from volunteer experiences, vendor promotions, etc. The others I bought are mostly quite cheap and were found in the sale piles. For instance, in Hawaii, I bought five for ten dollars. No wonder I can never fit all my stuff into the three suitcases I had when I came to US.

T gave his iPhone 3 to me when he got an iPhone 4. Now I officially lose the coolness of not having an iPhone. A couple of months ago, I was in a restaurant with about ten people. When we were waiting for our food, almost everyone was checking out something on their iPhones. I was a iPhone minority then. Now I got one, but no internet plan. So next time when people are checking facebook or emails on their iPhones when we wait for food, I will just play games. Some games, like Doodle Jump, are very addictive, I have to say. Meanwhile, I can pass my iTouch to my brother. He will love it, judging by his gladness when I gave him my beloved classic clipper iShuffle.

Time flies. In a few weeks, I will be in Beijing. My broken studying-German plan will be realized this time, no matter what. I am really stubborn, I know.

休息

生活的計劃被打亂了。本想在七月底去溫哥華美國使館換簽證，回來後搬家到洛杉磯。可加拿大簽證申請了兩次均被拒絕。估計是因為我現在的簽證要到期了，加拿大使館怕我逃去加拿大做非法移民。所以定了八月底的機票回國去簽，翻譯學校的入學可能要推遲一個學期。

這其實也給我一個休整的機會。到現在為止的幾次大的生活轉變，我都是像趕集似的。比如從德國來美國做實習，上午交了畢業論文，下午招待同事們吃東西，晚上打包，午夜坐飛機就來了。又比如從實習轉到剛結束的這份工作，老闆要求兩週內報到，我急忙換簽證、交接數據。而我的性格就像我的走路，特別慢，處理壓力能力比較差，有時很不適應這種快節奏。如果這次拿到加拿大簽證，進而拿到美國簽證，我可以料想我接下來的日子必定又是像高速列車一樣：快速打包、快速找房子、快速搬家、快速拆包，在沒怎麼反應過來時課程就開始了。而現在，我可以慢慢收拾東西，辦一個再見爬梯，逛逛舊金山沒去的角落，參加同事的婚禮，寫一兩篇博課，做一些翻譯。安心地做這些事情。

上週五是我工作的最後一天。一整天忙忙碌碌。上午開組會，下午交接數據。直到六點半才一切搞定，有點傷感地離開工作了三年的地方。實驗室同事給我的再見卡密密麻麻地寫滿了他們的祝願，以致老闆只能在背面找地方；我為工作過的兩個博士後和我訓練的新的實驗員都送了我小禮物。驚喜地感動了一下－－平時的熱心和努力別人其實都看在眼裡。老板有点失望，身为一个名校毕业的醫生加哲學博士，她希望實驗室每一個人不是黨醫生就是做科學家。不過她最後還是給了我一個大的擁抱，說，不論你做甚麼，有事找我，推薦信啦甚麼的。

又拔了一顆智齒，腮邊腫了幾天，臉都被擠得變形，立此存照。

夏天

最近读了好几本书。《傅雷家书》、杨绛的《洗澡》、林语堂的《中国人》（My country, my people的中译本）。这几位都是学惯中西的大家。

傅雷精通法文英文，翻译了很多法国名著，又熟知西方文艺史。他给傅聪的很多信谈论他对莫扎特、萧邦、舒伯特等的理解，谈论他对西方文化和东方文化的比较，他对罗马精神和魏晋风骨的向往。这些知识对我像是扫盲，读起来很有趣味。他的文字非常细致，就像他为人一样。后来上网查到他在文革刚开始时因被诬陷反党反中央而自缢身亡，我觉得非常惋惜。

《洗澡》的文字风格是杨绛惯有而独特的那种清淡、风趣。我很欣赏她的这种风格，无论再深刻、风趣或悲伤的事，她都是那么清淡的调子，你却不会不体会到那些情绪。傅雷给傅聪的信中曾提到，这些东西（指一些轻巧的外文著作）要靠你必姨她们那一套。“必姨”，是杨绛的妹妹杨必；“她们”可能也包括杨绛。我对历史了解的太少，没想到新中国对知识分子的扭曲从五一年三反就开始了。

林语堂就更不必说了。单从他用英文写了《中国人》这本全球畅销书来说，就知道他的水平了。他六七十年前写的讨论中国人本性的书至今仍无人能超越。这得益于他对中国文化的深刻阅读和理解及他采用的比较文化的方法。他在台北的故居也是我喜欢的一种样子，四合院布局，白墙青瓦，石子路，竹子，简单明了、赏心悦目。

最近的日子就是在这样读书上班，时而躁动、时而闲散的节奏下度过。拿到了驾照。车窗被砸。学会了仰泳（back stroke）：我只能背朝天才能浮起来。参加了游行。想起去年这个时间的种种。原计划夏天回北京学德语没有实现，老板不同意走，机票也贵的要命。有时神经质地担心将来，有时什么都不想只是看书。好的一点是，自己的耐心似乎比以前好了一些，尽量不把自己的烦恼殃及或映射到T或其他人。

Out

Break

The Chinese school where I have been teaching will finish its school year this Saturday. On that day there will be a students' show for their parents. We have rehearsed twice. My students did great. I am very looking forward to it. It has been a great experience to teach Mandarin to middle school kids every Saturday morning. The school has six or seven classes for kids of different ages to learn Cantonese and Mandarin. During the class break, seeing students fly around and hearing their noise is very enjoyable. Also, seeing my students improve makes me feel I have accomplished something. It is a good feeling. We have reached a point where they are used to my teaching style and where I know how to teach them well. So it is sad to leave them. Next year, they will have a new teacher. I hope they will have a great transition.

My volleyball league has come to a break too. We finished the spring season. The summer one will not begin until a month later. Again we ranked No. 2 out of the six teams. This was the fourth time that I played with this team and the third time that we ranked the second place. There is always something missing in my team that stops us from getting the championship. "We have issues in our team", one teammate said. Our passing is not always that great; we don't have a fast-running setter; we have a few short people... Well, we just play for fun. A bunch of grads, posdocs, and lab researchers get together to work out a bit every Tuesday evening. The good thing for me is that I finally got the feel of passing in this season: Form my arm platform and place it facing the setter, ninety percent of the times, I'll give a good pass. During this break, I can focus on improving my hitting technique.

I had wanted to take a break with T too. After seeing him for several months, I told him the points in his personality that I had difficulty coping with. He was a little upset with me for a couple of days. Then one night before we went to sleep, he popped the three words. "I want you to know it", he said. That moment my heart was moved. And I decided to take this three-year younger, ghetto, completely spontaneous, not always patient, very judgmental, but very loyal, always supportive, and hopelessly romantic kid. I'll accept his personality. Certainly there will still be many issues. But my attitude has changed from "I don't know whether it is worth working on them" to "okay, let's work on them".

Some breaks mean farewell, some getting better.

清理

这一周的事情很多。周一学开车；周二、周三做口译；周四拔智齿；周五做研究汇报。周一时觉得压力很大，但当一项一项做起来，也就都过来了。

最近开始做几件拖了很久的事，就像清理陈年旧帐。

先是学开车。来美国三年多，在旧金山市内坐公交车，一点问题没有；可一出远门就要蹭别人的车。比如去滑雪，我很想多去几次，可是要找愿开车和我去又喜欢滑雪的，就不那么容易。又比如在夏威夷，都是T开车跑来跑去，我坐在车里，总觉得很不好意思。要搬去洛杉矶，人人都说不会开车不行，于是就学起来了。教练是个实践派，第一次见面就把我放在了司机的位置上，领着我在旧金山高高低低的路上练习。第三次时让我开车去接他的孩子放学，在一个盘山路上转来转去，非常惊险。在这样师傅的指导下，我的胆子也越来越大。

游泳课从下周开始上。这也是一个计划很久但一直没有实现的事情。夏威夷之行给了我很大刺激。不会游泳，连潜伏（snorkeling）都不可以，错过了很多乐趣。在慕尼黑做毕业论文时，实验室有一个潜水（diving）爱好者，休假的时候去埃及、希腊海边潜水，拍回了很多海底漂亮的照片。当时的实验室研究荧光蛋白质（fluorescent proteins），最常用的荧光蛋白质就是从珊瑚中提取出来的，我们开玩笑说，他在潜水时可以带一些试样回来。我当时也向他表示自己对潜水很感兴趣。在我离开实验室时，他认真地说，“don't forget to learn diving”。想想这已是三四年前的事，现在自己还是个旱鸭子。在这边去过几次游泳池，试图自悟一下。但水对我来说是一种全新的环境，真有点有力无处使的感觉。所以还是决定上个班看看。

还有就是对身体的修修补补。快要离开现在的工作了，要把健康保险好好利用一下。等去洛杉矶上学，保险就要自己买了。于是去配了副眼镜，计划把有潜在危险的两个智齿拔掉。周四去找R医生拔第一颗。据他说我的牙齿是一个“difficult case”。“I under-estimated it”，他的原话。所以拔了很久。他鼓捣了半个多小时，各种金刚器械频繁换来换去，只听他呼吸渐重，终于他说，“真费劲，我先坐下休息一下”。算是拔牙时的一个笑话。我开他玩笑说，要不要换个姿势？

最后就是在贻贝上做买卖。总是听人说贻贝上卖东西买东西如何好玩。我中文学校一位六七岁的小朋友有一天都说，“I don't like my sun glasses. I'll sell them on Ebay”。我始终很好奇，但都懒得建账号。两周前总算一试，卖出了一块硬盘。还记得看到第一个也是唯一的一个竞标时自己的兴奋。当时每天查一下出售情况，也给自己的生活带来些乐趣。

Hang lose

The past Sunday was a warm sunny day. The first thing that came across my mind was going to the Golden Gate Park! Volleyball playing, frisbee throwing, and people watching are all very fun. When tired, I laid down on the grass, picking up the book "Observing life peacefully" (《静观人生》) to read. It is a collection of essays written by painter and writer Feng Zikai (丰子凯). In one essay, one of his friends was telling him that "it is easy to paint the unpredictable of life, while it is not to paint everyday life" (“画无常易，而画有常难”). Paraphrased, it is like saying that it is easy to describe, and also to remember, the dramas of life -- good things like promotion and wins, bad things like break-ups or loss of close people, but it is challenging to record, and perhaps to enjoy, your daily life. In a way, to live life is to learn to live both the dramas and the humdrum.

The "drama" of my recent life is that I have been to Hawaii. Another line on my wish list crossed! I booked my ticket way back in January, which gave me something to look forward to for three months. I got excited immediately when I saw the tropical plants at the little garden of Honolulu's airport, like the banana trees and the elephant ears. This excitement lasted through the whole trip, from buying my own Aloha shirt, to watching the Hula and the Tahitian grass skirt dances, to visiting the local favorite Waimanalo beach, and to hiking in the rain forest and sea kayaking. T did a great job on planning the itinerary. We did everything he planned.

There are so many things I love about Hawaii, obviously, and probably like many people do. One of them is that Hawaiian people seem to be very laid back. Just like their life philosophy: Hang lose. The speed limit for driving is 35 to 45mph. Nobody honks at each other, which is really rare for San Franciscans. In a safeway store, it took one server five minutes to make me a sandwich, whereas in San Francisco, it may take only ninety seconds. People there seem to imply, "take your time; no hurries".

The trip was only a bit short. Three full days plus two half-days. We haven't got a chance to climb the Diamond Peak and visit the Pearl Harbor. Well, there is always another time, no hurries.

锻炼

周末去Tahoe滑雪，赶雪季的末班车。（题外话：那天电视上重播《教父》一，发现它竟拍摄于Lake Tahoe！）

傍晚出发的时候，湾区晴朗灿烂，于是下意识地认为只有三个半小时车程的Tahoe应该不会不同到哪里去。没有看Tahoe天气情况，没有带雪链。哪知进山后碰上纷飞大雪，有几段能见度几乎为零。风速也不小，雪片被风裹着，在车灯打照的锥形光区里组成各种队形，倏忽变换，就像银鱼群在海里变换各种形状。汽车都纷纷停下，安装雪链。我和T战战兢兢地开着我们20岁的车，把车速降到20－30迈。最后总算安全抵达。

第二天，天放晴，阳光明媚，有了前一天新鲜的雪末，滑起来感觉非常好。再次赞一下Sugar Bowl雪场雪季末的“买一张缆车票，免费租雪具和上课”的促销活动。去年也是赶上了同样的好事，上了一节课，把我的滑雪水平从绿道升级到了蓝道上。今年又上了一节课，练习两雪板并行拐弯技术。在课的最后，老师还教了一些倒滑、穿树林、跳雪堆的小技巧，都挺刺激。这次最大的收获是悟到了怎么直腰，身体重心不再习惯性往后坐。腰一直起来，顿觉一切都轻松了许多。T也玩得很激动，尝到了滑雪的乐趣。他生平第二次滑，上了一节课，可以在绿道上用比萨饼脚法转弯（Wedge turning）了。体育锻炼对人有益，除了在运动时身体产生的一些化学分子让人兴奋，还有在你感受到掌握一些新东西时心理上的满足。

对有些运动，象滑雪，我比较容易进步。另一些，象排球，我进步则比较慢。打了一年多了，下手传球（bumping）还是摸不着头脑。网上教程看了很多，也上过几次课，技术理论都知道，就是转换到实践时，总是觉得那么别扭。可能只有不断练习，直到“顿悟”的那一刻。

最近又喜欢上了两项新运动。一是太极，一是Zumba。

萌发学太极的想法是十二月回国看到爸爸在打。他跟着一张光盘学了几个月，就打得非常有模样了。回来时，爸爸把他的光盘给了我。光盘扔在那里好久没动。后来在给我的中文学生上课时，为贯彻寓教于乐的理念，胡乱教了他们几下印象中的太极动作。没想到他们非常喜欢。于是打几招太极成了我们上课的一部分。我也按着光盘认真地学起来。我喜欢打太极时手脚协调、轻飘飘的感觉。讨论太极拳也成了我和爸爸打电话时的一个新话题。

Zumba是我的健身房最近退出的一个新的舞蹈健身课。是Salsa和肚皮舞（Belly dancing）的一个组合。节奏感很强，很多扭腰的动作。起初跟不上，也放不开。后来发现，大家在跳时，都盯着老师或镜子中的自己在跳，没人注意我。还有两位老爷爷也美滋滋地跳着。于是我也放松地跳了起来。

都是锻炼身体嘛，出汗高兴就好。

Plateau

Betty

Being sick is no fun. Runny nose. Watery eye. I don't sleep well. I cannot meet people. I'm not supposed to go to public places. This spring is tough. People in my lab take turn to be sick. I thought I could get away with it. Yet T can still joke with me. "You miss me so much that you cannot stop crying. That's so sweet", he said on the phone. "Whatever--ah--chee", I replied.

Staying home is interesting. I try to get a lot of sleep. My sleep is shallow and full of dreams, including some dirty ones. People that I haven't met for centuries appear to greet me in my dreams. TV shows became my new best friends. "Ugly Betty" is perfect because it is very light-hearted. I wish that the interior designers for the show could do my place when I have one. Each office space and home is so stylish.

There is this episode in which Betty got an award for her blog. It described how Betty tried to face her "weirdo" past. As an extension of this concept, the question is: Do you acknowledge your background or personality? This episode reminded me of one of my own stories. On one weekend day when I was back in middle school. I wanted to go out with my parents. But I wanted my mom to change her sweater which didn't look that great. She examined me and said sharply, "I'm not going." The air was suddenly awkward. To ease the situation, my dad took me out. I don't remember how my mom and I solved the situation later. I only remember I couldn't enjoy myself while I was out with my dad. I knew I hurt my mom's feelings. My mom is someone who doesn't care about her appearance; but I wanted her to be someone better than her. Now, when I go out with my parents, I don't really care how they look, as long as what they wear is not inappropriate. As Betty said in her speech, and I quote not in the exact words, "it's the weirdo in the past that took me here; I'm not ashamed of her". "And so are you", she said to her audience. Then someone in the audience said, "who said we are weirdos?" People talk about confidence. Maybe the first step is accepting yourself.

Back to my own story, what's interesting is that my mom sometimes seems to be conscious of her look now. For example, she would consider putting on something decently looking when going out. Both of us has made some changes. That's another topic.

弥补

五月底离开三藩市。（习惯了叫San Francisco旧金山，有点历史的味道。但广东人都说三藩市，我也跟着流行一把。）先回北京呆两个多月，去上一个德语班。八月中再回来，搬去洛杉矶。

一直想上一个正式的德语班。去德国前和在德国时，都没怎么认真学。这次弥补一下。歌德学院，周一到周五，上午上课，连续八周。其实很想去上海度过这两个月，从来没有去过，也想了解一下那里的环境。可比较了一下北京和上海的师资，还是决定留在北京。北京在文化方面的很多条件，其它城市还是无法相比的。至于它糟糕的气候，权且忍了。

我好像一直在弥补以前的愿望。在德国时，努力寻找机会来美国，是弥补大学毕业没直接来美国的遗憾。现在来了美国，又想攒钱去欧洲旅游，来弥补以前在德国时没怎么出游的遗憾。考大学时，想报外语或外交专业，被劝阻，说是没什么前途，改报工程，现在又返回来做口译。以前很想学一们二外，但学德语时觉得是为生计所迫，所以没什么积极性，现在却又回头来补课。有时想想，自己的这些马后炮行为真挺可笑。可笑就可笑吧，都是在某个阶段、某个心境下做的选择。其间散掉的无数银子，买来了些智慧和自省，也不算太冤枉。

倒是有一个愿望我总算不再耿耿于怀。名校情节。经历了这么多年，看过这么多人，真不觉得一个人的能力和修养需要一个学校的名声来佐证。世界已经有了这么多的圈子，没必要再给自己加一个。

Protein

I finally joined the crew who take protein powder. My excuse is that I'm going to Hawaii. But my coworker, Cheri, pointed it out more straightforwardly, "you just want to be naked." "No, maybe only topless", I said. So now, on the days I work out, I drink a protein shake which has about 20g of protein. But since I almost only do cardio, my chest has been the same as before.

It was T who got me into this protein business. I don't reckon where he picked up this idea originally. He does weights. And his protein powder is more concentrated than mine. So I do see his chest is getting bigger.

My attitude towards myself taking protein powder is mixed. On one hand, I cannot believe I joined the superficial gay trend: Work out, gain muscle, get attention. On the other hand, I got hooked, imaging myself someday to have a great body as the cover models do. Anyway, working out is not a bad thing. Until I got tired of this protein game, let me just enjoy my cardio classes and protein shake.

My diet had been carb based since I was little. My parents' kitchen table was like either steam bread+rice porridge+a vegetable dish or rice+noodle+a veggie dish. Veggie dish could be replaced by a salad or a egg dish. They didn't cook a lot of meat partly because I wasn't a big fan of it and partly because meat was expensive. So in my mind, whenever I miss my parents' cooking, I think of dishes like potato and eggplant, or tomato tofu, or egg and green pepper. The thing about carb based diet was that I got hungry very soon. Even though I ate two big steam breads and a rice porridge for breakfast, I was hungry when it was ten thirty in the morning.

I hadn't really thought about diet structure until I came to California. Here diet and health seems to be such a big thing. Every girl is reading the calorie info about the food they eat. Every girl, like Cheri, is on a diet, forever. You can find diet program on each major TV network everyday. Under influence like this, I learned to pay attention to my diet and gradually tried to switch to the "balanced diet", meaning not just taking carbs but also a fair amount of protein everyday.

According to some articles from internet, I should take about 56g of protein for my weight. Here is an example:

A cup of milk in breakfast: ~10g;

Orange chicken in lunch: ~15g;

Chicken salad for dinner: ~15g;

A yogurt: 6-9g;

Some nuts to make up the rest of the 56g.

Maybe this protein based diet is really working. I don't get hungry that often.

Or, it's just because I believed it has worked?

刮痧

前天晚上T突然病了。头疼背疼得要命。给他吃了两颗advil。他等不及药效发作，就建议我给他刮痧，说可以用dog tag沾着清凉油刮。我以前看过妈妈给爸爸刮痧，是用顶针或硬币沾着水刮，不几下爸爸的背上就红得一道一道的。清凉油有清热祛痛功能，又可以润滑，比水要好，不过我都多少年没用了，身边没有。有body lotion，可它只可润滑没有药效。突然想到我以前回国买的马应龙麝香痔疮膏。当时看了网上盛传的此膏药是优质眼霜的帖子，说睡前涂上，可消除黑眼圈。回来试了两次，它的气味呛得我睡不着，就没再用。从柜子里翻出来，看成分，是麝香、珍珠等，都是清热消肿的药物。于是就用它代替清凉油。先给他刮了脊柱两侧，然后从脊柱向外刮。一道道红印显现出来，和电影里被皮鞭抽打的效果类似。和他开玩笑说，是domestic violence。刮完后，他蒙头大睡，出了一夜汗。看来马氏药膏的神奇用途又多了一条——按摩或刮痧用油。

T在屋内大睡的时候，我们在客厅紧张地观看冬奥会花样滑双人决赛。K的点评比电视评论员还专业，每个动作的名字如数家珍。各对选手纷纷失误，帮助了申赵夺冠。他们两人的编舞非常有感染力。特别是短节目，无比流畅，让人眼花缭乱。相比四年前两人在turino的表演，真不可同日而语。好的是两次都没有时差，都是在第一时间观看比赛。一直很喜欢他们大气的风格，这次夺冠很为他们高兴。十八年的努力是对执著和毅力的最好诠释。

移动

The good thing about having my birthday in January is that I only need to do the "summary of my last year and making plans for my new year" thing once. This "recall and look ahead" self-reflection was such a big deal when I was younger, now it's like "eh, another year, whatever".

Nevertheless, 2009 was so fast. Its January was like yesterday. Memories of the pain and disappointment in the first half year and the excitement in the second half year were still so fresh. They were all worth it and they were there for a reason.

Too bad I'm leaving "the city" soon. Having done consecutive interpretation for a couple of meetings recently, I decided to go to a translation and interpretation program in LA this fall. This is always something I want to do but didn't have courage to try.

Now it's the time.

"You'll need to make some decisions when you are 28 and 36", says the book "Secrets of birthdays". It seems it's true. "Wow, that's a big decision, leaving your current field and going into a new one", my roommate said. I don't feel how big it is, it feels very natural and right. And I'm very excited.

It has been raining for over ten days in the city. I used to hate the rain and the inconvenience it brings, like many others. Until about the same time last year, one friend said, "we need the rain to fill our water reservoir; we need water". That totally changed my attitude toward rain. I'm not bothered by it. Instead, I'm grateful.

完整

2008年底就搜集齐了美国五十个州的二十五美分硬币。2009年在奥克兰（Oakland）中国城的春节集市上发现了放硬币的册子。可只到几天前才把二者从柜子底翻出来装在一起。从某种意义上，这种懒惰反映了我2009年的生活状态：瞎折腾，没心情顾及让自己开心的一些爱好。

这些硬币有新有旧。T和我说，应该先洗一洗，用酒精消消毒，然后再放进册子里。我倒想保持它们的原状，磨损的、有污点的... ...我没有去银行要过新发行的硬币，都是在各种场合搜集到的，Pizza店找钱啦，坐车换零啦，和前室友交换啦等等。有一次作弊，拿了10块钱去洗衣房换零钱的机器上兑硬币，倒是淘到几枚我没有的，可是事后觉得没什么意思，失去了搜集的乐趣。

十二月回国三周。在北京待了一周，回家和爸妈待了两周。最高兴的是给爸妈买了个全自动滚筒洗衣机，希望能节省他们一些家务体力。原打算去西安转一下，可后来购物把钱都花光了，只好等下次了。

在北京的一个地桥通道买了几个藏银的镯子。回家后给了姥姥一个。姥姥特别喜欢。从妈妈那儿听到一个感人的故事。姥姥以前有一对又粗又亮的银镯子，是从太姥姥那里传下来的。姥姥特别喜欢，一直戴着。妈妈上高中的时候，有一次家里没钱给他们付学费。姥姥摸着她的镯子哭了一场，把它们卖了，换了两块钱，给他们交学费。妈妈说，每次想到这样的事，就不觉得现在每天照顾得了阿耳茨海默症的姥姥是一种太大的负担。

和T交往五个月了。和一个人交往从来没有这么轻松过。现在很相信一句话：Relationship is all about finding the right person. 以前的困难和drama都是没有碰到合适的人吧。而且好的人和朋友会让你的生活也很顺。这是所谓的人品和气场的作用吧。

翻一翻自己搜集的硬币，还有一些多余的。可以再慢慢攒一套，这次攒一套加上美国附属区的。就像又开始了一个轮回，却比上次多一些东西。