Betty

Being sick is no fun. Runny nose. Watery eye. I don't sleep well. I cannot meet people. I'm not supposed to go to public places. This spring is tough. People in my lab take turn to be sick. I thought I could get away with it. Yet T can still joke with me. "You miss me so much that you cannot stop crying. That's so sweet", he said on the phone. "Whatever--ah--chee", I replied.

Staying home is interesting. I try to get a lot of sleep. My sleep is shallow and full of dreams, including some dirty ones. People that I haven't met for centuries appear to greet me in my dreams. TV shows became my new best friends. "Ugly Betty" is perfect because it is very light-hearted. I wish that the interior designers for the show could do my place when I have one. Each office space and home is so stylish.

There is this episode in which Betty got an award for her blog. It described how Betty tried to face her "weirdo" past. As an extension of this concept, the question is: Do you acknowledge your background or personality? This episode reminded me of one of my own stories. On one weekend day when I was back in middle school. I wanted to go out with my parents. But I wanted my mom to change her sweater which didn't look that great. She examined me and said sharply, "I'm not going." The air was suddenly awkward. To ease the situation, my dad took me out. I don't remember how my mom and I solved the situation later. I only remember I couldn't enjoy myself while I was out with my dad. I knew I hurt my mom's feelings. My mom is someone who doesn't care about her appearance; but I wanted her to be someone better than her. Now, when I go out with my parents, I don't really care how they look, as long as what they wear is not inappropriate. As Betty said in her speech, and I quote not in the exact words, "it's the weirdo in the past that took me here; I'm not ashamed of her". "And so are you", she said to her audience. Then someone in the audience said, "who said we are weirdos?" People talk about confidence. Maybe the first step is accepting yourself.

Back to my own story, what's interesting is that my mom sometimes seems to be conscious of her look now. For example, she would consider putting on something decently looking when going out. Both of us has made some changes. That's another topic.