吃饭

解决了睡觉问题，吃饭问题就接踵而至。

搬家，重新找房子，安置新家，各种花费让银行帐户亮起红灯。很多额外支出。比如，在这儿去哪里都要开车，而且动辄三四十分钟，汽油费远超出我的预算。

于是，找零工赚钱，就成了生活关键词。

十二月份做了几天律师秘书工作。没做多久，就因接受不了老板无故辱骂威胁而辞掉。第一次体会到可以被气得胃疼。可笑的是，我辞职后的两三天内，他还发长篇段信攻击我的能力和为人。我回了他一句中国古语“欲加之罪，何患无词”，不再和他纠缠。那之后的一段时间看到双语律师楼助理工作便敬而远之。

想找一些翻译和口译的工作还真难。首先，这是一份市场小、不稳定的职业。什么时候有翻译工作都不可预料。比如，我现在唯一的一个客户，一家中国人在美国开的做中国官方访问团业务的公司，去年一年给我的口译大概只有十次。其次，笔译的价格太低。昨天看到网上一个人给价3.5美分一个字。假如一页纸有400个字，你翻译两三个小时，只能赚到14块，平均每小时只有3到4块。口译也好不到哪里。像我这样没有任何证书的刚入行者，要做十次口译才可以挣到一个月房租。所以找这样的工作只能广撒网。我把自己的简历寄发给了十几家翻译公司，根本没有回应。和我的同学们聊找工难的问题，他们建议加入美国翻译者协会（American Translators Association），就有可能会有人和你联系。于是花了一百六十大洋买了一个会员资格。所以现在我的名字和一个简单资料也在其网上，相当于打广告了。我将来也可以用这个会员资格招摇撞骗。现在的关键是，好好学好翻译，练好基本功，争取一年后拿下通过率只有5%的加州法庭翻译认证考试。我没有身份，不能在法庭做，到时可以用这个证书当敲门砖，可能简历就有人理了。

现在我能找到的只有教汉语。教学龄前儿童或小学生咿呀学语。一家中介机构要求完全用汉语教汉语，对我是个很好的锻炼，我得学着用我非常不擅长的肢体语言和表情。第一节课从下周一开始，有些紧张、有些期待。

找到这个教书工作，紧绷的经济压力稍小一点，毕竟有所收入了。也是一个开头。做好这份，慢慢再找其它的。

Same

Another year? I do not feel anything exciting though. November and December were so crazy for T and me that the excitement of a new year’s coming cannot vibrate my nerve at all. It is like after you experience the roller-coaster on top of the New York New York hotel in Vegas, you would think the rides in Disneyland are so bland.

Finally, we got a new home. No roaches. No cigar or chemical smell. Hardwood floor. Fairly new kitchen appliances. Everything is just great! For the first time in my life, I feel this is my home. In my other recent renting experiences, I occupied one bedroom in two-bedroom apartments. Before I moved in, someone else had already been there, signed the lease, and set up the dwelling structure of the apartments. In those places, I was more like a guest than a equally rightful roommate. But now, I am the host. I have the freedom to do anything I want. It is a sense of independence that I never had before. It feels good.

One day, when I was helping T make some cases for our sofa pillows, the image that my parents were making sofa covers came in my mind. It was not long after my parents bought their own house in mid 1990s. They brought in some new furniture and a color TV. They put on curtains, made sofa covers, picked dining cloth... They used the same fabric for sofa covers and heating radiator covers, making the living room look quite coherent. It was their first time ever to own a home. They must have been extremely excited and hopeful, enjoying creating a home for us. Interestingly enough, after all these years, T and I were doing almost exactly the same things.

I thought I had traveled farther enough than my parents, but actually I came back to where they were.

睡觉

两周前，和T开车把我的东西运了来LA。房子里家徒四壁。一切都需白手起家，床、窗帘、锅碗瓢盆... ... T在的那几天，两个人整天奔波，Ikea，Target，Home Depot... ...

从租了这个房子那天，麻烦就接连不断。先是发现了蟑螂！大学宿舍蟑螂猖狂的一幕幕立即呈现在我脑海，一窝窝斩不尽杀不绝的蟑螂让人作呕又无奈。曾经的一只还光荣地短路了我电脑的电源盒，给我造成经济损失。毕业时往家里运东西，我仔细地检查了每一个包裹，生怕把任何蟑螂，尤其是怀孕的蟑螂，运回家而殃及父母。出国后这六年我再也未见过它，以为从此与它永别。未想到在LA这座老公寓里又与它相遇。我把我的经历告诉T，他不以为然，说我大惊小怪。我让管理员给整个房间做了烟雾弹处理，好像也功效不大。我买了蟑螂诱饵，布置各房间角落，每天仍能见到几只，或大或小，或活或死，每次都心感不快。

和地毯问题比起来，蟑螂问题还算小巫见大巫。看房时，我闻到异味。管理员说，没关系，在你们入住之前我找人帮你们洗地毯。我和T非常喜欢这房子的采光，又在高楼层，窗外可望见Hollywood大字，所以就答应了。入住后，我还是觉得味道很浓，象是陈年烟味。睡了两个晚上，我的鼻子、嗓子、肺部感觉不适。我去找管理员，他说之前确实住过两个烟民。我说无法忍受，他说，那我给你换地毯。我甚是满意。当天就有人来给我铺上了新的地毯。铺后，我就觉得它散发出刺激人的化学味道。我问地毯工，这气味是否对人有害。他说，这是新地毯，没问题的，不用担心。我想专业人员说没事应该就没事，哪知睡了两晚，渐觉鼻子失去嗅觉、头脑发涨、浑身无力、不时想呕吐。我才意识到，中毒了！于是马上搬出，在朋友那里借宿，不敢再住。

T把我送来后返回了旧金山，去辞职、收拾东西、准备搬过来，所幸逃过中毒一劫。我今天飞回旧金山，周一帮他搬过来。对我的中毒描述他将信将疑，非要自己过来一嗅清楚，然后再做是否解除住房合约的决定。我和他说，健康大事，不可马虎，他却担心被扣违约金。所以这个故事现在还未有结论。

你瞧，找个睡觉的地方还真不容易。

Free Time

It has been two weeks since my resignation. I am quite enjoying my not-working time.

I can have a good breakfast. Not microwaved cereal plus milk anymore. I can make a cup of green tea, boil some plain porridge, and steam some red-bean buns. In the day, I would pack a little, read a bit, check out the library, or cook. If T doesn't work, we would go for a walk on the beach, go to see a movie, try some new restaurants, or work out in the gym. Like yesterday, we found this beach corner I had never been to. We said hi to some sluggish star fish lying on some rocks not distant from us. We lined up some stone pins and picked a few semi-round rocks to play bowling. I really enjoy these little fun moments. When I had a vacation before, I usually traveled somewhere. The sudden environmental change offered a sharp refreshment, like drinking an iced Coke after a three-hour jogging. But often as a result, I felt very exhausted after the trip. Whereas now, I have equally the same relaxation but definitely less weariness.

When I started packing, I was surprised to find that I have about twenty white gym T-shirts and another twenty colored ones! I got some of them for free, from volunteer experiences, vendor promotions, etc. The others I bought are mostly quite cheap and were found in the sale piles. For instance, in Hawaii, I bought five for ten dollars. No wonder I can never fit all my stuff into the three suitcases I had when I came to US.

T gave his iPhone 3 to me when he got an iPhone 4. Now I officially lose the coolness of not having an iPhone. A couple of months ago, I was in a restaurant with about ten people. When we were waiting for our food, almost everyone was checking out something on their iPhones. I was a iPhone minority then. Now I got one, but no internet plan. So next time when people are checking facebook or emails on their iPhones when we wait for food, I will just play games. Some games, like Doodle Jump, are very addictive, I have to say. Meanwhile, I can pass my iTouch to my brother. He will love it, judging by his gladness when I gave him my beloved classic clipper iShuffle.

Time flies. In a few weeks, I will be in Beijing. My broken studying-German plan will be realized this time, no matter what. I am really stubborn, I know.

休息

生活的計劃被打亂了。本想在七月底去溫哥華美國使館換簽證，回來後搬家到洛杉磯。可加拿大簽證申請了兩次均被拒絕。估計是因為我現在的簽證要到期了，加拿大使館怕我逃去加拿大做非法移民。所以定了八月底的機票回國去簽，翻譯學校的入學可能要推遲一個學期。

這其實也給我一個休整的機會。到現在為止的幾次大的生活轉變，我都是像趕集似的。比如從德國來美國做實習，上午交了畢業論文，下午招待同事們吃東西，晚上打包，午夜坐飛機就來了。又比如從實習轉到剛結束的這份工作，老闆要求兩週內報到，我急忙換簽證、交接數據。而我的性格就像我的走路，特別慢，處理壓力能力比較差，有時很不適應這種快節奏。如果這次拿到加拿大簽證，進而拿到美國簽證，我可以料想我接下來的日子必定又是像高速列車一樣：快速打包、快速找房子、快速搬家、快速拆包，在沒怎麼反應過來時課程就開始了。而現在，我可以慢慢收拾東西，辦一個再見爬梯，逛逛舊金山沒去的角落，參加同事的婚禮，寫一兩篇博課，做一些翻譯。安心地做這些事情。

上週五是我工作的最後一天。一整天忙忙碌碌。上午開組會，下午交接數據。直到六點半才一切搞定，有點傷感地離開工作了三年的地方。實驗室同事給我的再見卡密密麻麻地寫滿了他們的祝願，以致老闆只能在背面找地方；我為工作過的兩個博士後和我訓練的新的實驗員都送了我小禮物。驚喜地感動了一下－－平時的熱心和努力別人其實都看在眼裡。老板有点失望，身为一个名校毕业的醫生加哲學博士，她希望實驗室每一個人不是黨醫生就是做科學家。不過她最後還是給了我一個大的擁抱，說，不論你做甚麼，有事找我，推薦信啦甚麼的。

又拔了一顆智齒，腮邊腫了幾天，臉都被擠得變形，立此存照。

夏天

最近读了好几本书。《傅雷家书》、杨绛的《洗澡》、林语堂的《中国人》（My country, my people的中译本）。这几位都是学惯中西的大家。

傅雷精通法文英文，翻译了很多法国名著，又熟知西方文艺史。他给傅聪的很多信谈论他对莫扎特、萧邦、舒伯特等的理解，谈论他对西方文化和东方文化的比较，他对罗马精神和魏晋风骨的向往。这些知识对我像是扫盲，读起来很有趣味。他的文字非常细致，就像他为人一样。后来上网查到他在文革刚开始时因被诬陷反党反中央而自缢身亡，我觉得非常惋惜。

《洗澡》的文字风格是杨绛惯有而独特的那种清淡、风趣。我很欣赏她的这种风格，无论再深刻、风趣或悲伤的事，她都是那么清淡的调子，你却不会不体会到那些情绪。傅雷给傅聪的信中曾提到，这些东西（指一些轻巧的外文著作）要靠你必姨她们那一套。“必姨”，是杨绛的妹妹杨必；“她们”可能也包括杨绛。我对历史了解的太少，没想到新中国对知识分子的扭曲从五一年三反就开始了。

林语堂就更不必说了。单从他用英文写了《中国人》这本全球畅销书来说，就知道他的水平了。他六七十年前写的讨论中国人本性的书至今仍无人能超越。这得益于他对中国文化的深刻阅读和理解及他采用的比较文化的方法。他在台北的故居也是我喜欢的一种样子，四合院布局，白墙青瓦，石子路，竹子，简单明了、赏心悦目。

最近的日子就是在这样读书上班，时而躁动、时而闲散的节奏下度过。拿到了驾照。车窗被砸。学会了仰泳（back stroke）：我只能背朝天才能浮起来。参加了游行。想起去年这个时间的种种。原计划夏天回北京学德语没有实现，老板不同意走，机票也贵的要命。有时神经质地担心将来，有时什么都不想只是看书。好的一点是，自己的耐心似乎比以前好了一些，尽量不把自己的烦恼殃及或映射到T或其他人。

Out